As your parents, it is our hope that you will make wise choices in the future and develop into the brilliant man we know you can be. We are excited to see what you will make of yourself and know you have tremendous potential. There is no doubt in our mind you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. We know you are capable of making wise choices. As much as we have specific wants for how you live your life, ultimately we know the decision is up to you. Our purpose in composing the Rules below is to help you transition from being a dependent child to an independent adult. We are here to help you in that transition; however, it is your ultimate decision to either follow the rules or break them knowing the consequences of doing so.
We realize that we have made mistakes as parents. We hope you will forgive us for those mistakes. We are not perfect; however, we have tried to provide you with the love, support and discipline you needed while growing up in our home. Everything we’ve done has been because we love you; however, we know we have held you back from being all God desires you to be by providing many things to you without your having to work for them and by not being consistent in establishing rules and/or consequences. We are changing our behavior by the implementation of the Rules below. They will be enforced and will be enforced consistently. Please take heed to the changes we are making in this regard.
As mentioned, we love you. We want the best for you – always have, always will. We know mistakes will be made along the way. We all make them. We hope you will learn from your mistakes (as we are trying to do) pick yourself back up, and become a better person because of them. We will always love you, regardless of any mistakes you might make; however, we will no longer do the following:
- Give you money
- Argue, debate, and/or negotiate the Rules below
- Co-sign a lease or mortgage
- Bail you out of jail
We will:
- Pray for you every day
- Remain consistent in following the Rules below
- Follow-up on the consequences listed below
- Help you by providing the support contained in the Plan below
- Be available for advice and love and provide resources to you
Keep in mind: We are talking about privileges, not entitlements. It’s a privilege to borrow our car, have a cell phone, eat free food, live rent-free and go to college. We are continuing to pay for many of those privileges on your behalf for a period of time beyond what we are required in order to help you get on your feet. We love you. “With God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
Mom and Dad
ENROLLED FULL-TIME IN SCHOOL (Available until age 23)
CURFEW
Sun., Mon., Tues., Weds., Thurs.: 10:00 p.m. for houseguests. 11:00 p.m. to be at home
Fri., Sat.: 12:00 p.m. houseguests and 1:00 p.m. to be at home
- Violation of a curfew will follow the disciplinary action process steps
HOUSEGUESTS
*Permission must be obtained before having anyone over. There is no Open Door policy.
*Females are NOT allowed, for any reason, in your bedrooms
*Guests are NOT allowed in our bedroom or bathroom
*You must obtain permission to have a guest stay overnight. You should ask us BEFORE asking the guest. If you don’t, the answer is “no”. Lights out will be expected as defined by curfew hours.
- Violation of any of the above will result in a 3-tiered consequence: 1. Guest will not be allowed to visit for one week. 2. Guest will not be allowed to visit for one month. 3. Guest will not be allowed to visit for six months. Based on circumstances, we may forego the above and ban a guest from our home permanently at any time.
MORAL RULES
*No smoking – including Hookah – inside our house
*No drinking – until age 21, then responsibly. Same for guests.
*No sex
*No drugs
*No illegal activities
- Violation of any of the above will result in immediate request to move out and possible notification to the police
FOOD
*No food or drink, except for water, in any area outside of the first floor
- Violation of the above will result in your having to purchase your own food and/or drink based on the tiered consequence: 1. One week. 2. One month. 3. Permanently
MEALS
Meals will be made for you; however, if you are unable to or decide not to participate in a family meal, you are asked to notify Mom 1 hour prior to meal time (5:30 p.m.). If you continually do not show up for a meal or provide notification, meals will no longer be provided and you will be expected to purchase your own food. You may store your food in the mini-refrigerator and cabinets in the garage. You are expected to make every attempt to attend Sunday lunches which will be served at 12:30 p.m.
SECURITY
*Entry and exit should be through the front door only which should be locked at all times. No one should be given a key nor should a spare key be made.
-Violation of the above will result immediately in your loss of a key. You will need to be let in.
CHORES
*Dishes will be done after each meal (you will be assigned a rotating month or week)
*Trash will be collected weekly and loaded into the truck (you will be assigned a rotating month/week)
*Lawn will be mowed and trimmed weekly (you will be assigned a rotating month or week)
* You will assist with housecleaning and yard work as needed and requested. One day a week you will be required to deep clean.
RESPONSIBILITIES
- Laundry: You are responsible for your own. Clothes should not be left throughout the house. Any clothing item left in one location longer than 2 days will be boxed up and put in storage. This includes laundry left in the washer, dryer, or laundry room floor.
- Bathroom: Toilets are to be flushed after each use and towels are to be hung on a hook
- Respect: It should go without saying, but you are required to be respectful to us and your sibling at all times. This includes no foul language, walking away during a conversation, or disrespectful tones or bursts of anger.
- Home: While you are living at home you are expected to help maintain it. This includes the chores outlined above and any other needed repairs or household work.
- Church: It is hoped you will attend a weekly service, whether with us or on your own. God needs to be the center of your life and honoring him weekly and in your daily life should be a priority. God will be there when we can’t, make sure he knows who you are!
- College: One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to obtain a college education. Make sure you don’t regret not obtaining it when you have the opportunity to do so. We will help you pay for your first year in college; however, you will be required to pay us back for any loans taken out in our name to pay for your college. Repayment will begin either at graduation, when you are no longer passing, or when you are no longer enrolled as a full-time student, whichever is earlier. While working, you will be required to deposit money into our savings account at $25.00 per pay period at a minimum. The second, third and fourth year of college we will help you out if we can; however, you should plan on funding it yourself.
- Relationships: Foster them, but choose your friends wisely. Choose a girlfriend even more carefully. They will be a reflection of you, make sure you are able to look in the mirror and be proud of what you see. Friends can lead you on the path of righteousness or down the path of destructiveness. You WILL be pulled into their lifestyle, make sure it’s a good one.
- Family: Family will be there for you when others won’t. Don’t forget the importance of supporting them as well by attending family functions and remembering special days such as; holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. Calls are appreciated and needed to maintain regular correspondence, but your attendance and participation is even more important. Doing things even when we don’t want to shows character – build yours by remembering your family!
- Car: A car may or may not be available for your use. If available, you are responsible for driving safely and ensuring proper car mechanics. You are responsible for paying for gas and the car should be returned with the same amount of gas in it as when borrowed. A car may be “rented” at $5.00 per day or $25.00 for the week to help pay for car maintenance. This is payable BEFORE use of the car. If you are purchasing the car, this amount will be applied towards your payment and purchase price. You should always check oil and water levels and report any problems immediately to us. Driving privileges will be revoked when rules are not followed.
EXPENSES
*All expenses covered, as reasonable, and while adhering to the rules, for the first four years after graduating high school and while enrolled in college full-time with the following exclusions:
1. Gas money
2. Car
3. Personal expenses including; Clothes, entertainment, eating out, vacations, car accessories, gifts, fines, tickets, car repairs due to your negligence, other unnecessary wants, etc.
After four years, even if still enrolled in school, rules below will apply.
NOT ENROLLED FULL-TIME IN SCHOOL/LIVING AT HOME (Option Available Only to Age 21)
(Same as above with the following exceptions)
EXPENSES COVERED TO AGE 26
*Health, Dental and Vision insurance premiums only. You will be responsible for any outstanding balances after insurance payment.
EXPENSES NOT COVERED
*Car, Car insurance, Gas, Phone, Personal expenses including clothes, hair, entertainment, car title, etc.
*Rent will be paid by YOU to cover water, electricity and food expenses at $200.00/month
You WILL be required to be awake and up before 11:00 a.m. on a regular basis and complete designated chores. You will be required to seek, obtain, and maintain gainful employment while living at home.
IN COLLEGE FULL-TIME/LIVING ON YOUR OWN
EXPENSES COVERED TO AGE 26
*Health, Dental and Vision insurance premiums only. You will be responsible for any outstanding balances after insurance payment.
EXPENSES NOT COVERED
*Car, Car insurance, Gas, Phone, Personal expenses including clothes, hair, entertainment, car title, etc.
*Your rental expenses
- Keep in mind: Just because you are in college, if you do not pay your expenses, you will be responsible for resulting repercussions. We will not cover these expenses for you if you’re unable to do so. This WILL result in bad credit and WILL affect your credit history and ability to obtain loans and purchase a car or house in the future. Our advise to you is set a budget and stay on it.
MOVING OUT – TRANSITIONAL HELP
We know moving out is both exciting and scary. Getting on your two feet is difficult without some help. We are prepared to help you for the first month, for the first time and first time only, by providing the following payments on your behalf:
1. One month’s rent or deposit
2. One month’s payment on cell phone service
3. A supply of food for two weeks (this doesn’t include $ for food or eating out)
4. A full tank of gas (if you own a car)
5. One month payment on your car insurance premium
6. If you’ve been employed full-time for a minimum of six months we will consider co-signing on an auto loan for you in the future.
ITEMS YOU MAY TAKE WITH YOU:
2. Mattress, Box Spring and 2 Pillows
3. Personal Items i.e., clothes, razors, gifts given to you
4. Your Phone (Deactivated after one month from moving out date if contract is up or at time of contract renewal. You will pay monthly fees to us until renewal; otherwise, phone will be deactivated)
ITEMS YOU MAY NOT TAKE WITH YOU:
1. Bed, including bedroom furniture, TV’s, lamps, etc.
2. Anything not owned or purchased by you including towels, plates, tools, speakers, mini-refrig., pots, pans, dishes, silverware, appliances, etc.
- Anything not pre-approved
DISCIPLINARY ACTION PROCESS
1. Warning with removal of privilege for one week as related to the infraction.
2. Deactivation of phone – one month
3. Deactivation of phone – permanently
4. Loss of driving privilege in any car not owned by you
5. Fine of $25.00 for each violation to be paid at the end of the week. Max. violation/wk. = 4
6. You will be required to move out within 30 days unless defined differently above
Each step is progressive. Second infractions which occur within one week from the last will move to the next step in the disciplinary action process. Phones will not be reactivated once permanently deactivated. Driving privileges will not be reinstated once lost. If asked to move out and you have not done so within 30 days, your personal items will be removed from the house and put into storage and a formal eviction process will begin.
Any expenses we cover on your behalf will be reimbursed to us. Payment is to be made as soon as possible. If you are working, 20% of your net paycheck will go to us to reimburse us for any outstanding expenses until repaid except for college expenses, as defined as above, with repayment deferred and repayable as defined. Repayment DOES INCLUDE college loans and any other personal loans.
I have read and understand the terms above:
______________________________________________/_______________________ (Effective 7/1/11)
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