Right temperature, wrong species

While I was on the phone with our occupational medicine provider today, we got on the subject of the ways people try to pass drug tests. In case you didn't know, using a "clean" person's urine is one way. One of the procedures to guard against that is the temperature of the specimen is checked. If it's less than body temp, there's an issue. The provider told me this epic story, and I had to share. She said "I had one that was the right temperature but the wrong species." The sample was collected, and the temperature was within the acceptable range. However, when the lab analyzed it, they determined the sample wasn't from a human!

Bonus related story: I was telling my HR coworker about this. She said she had a candidate whose drug test was negative, and it also revealed the person was pregnant. The issue- the candidate was male. I had read about things like that happening before, but this was the first time I'd heard a verifiable story.

Reading is fundamental

Dear hiring manager,

Instead of complaining about how much you are paying a 3rd party recruiter to assist you in filling a position, you should have read the contract before you engaged their services. As you should recall, your department was involved in getting their contract approved.

Signed,
HR person who believes reading is fundamental

How not to plan a project

My coworker and I are in the latter part of implementing a huge software implementation project (A) for our department. Note: We are an HR department, not IT. We received very little management guidance with this project, and the only reason it got done is because we figured everything out and got it set up.

Yesterday our department director asked how soon we could have software project B implemented. We had to explain the following realities to her:

1. We have no idea what goes into the project. What we didn't add was that we have no idea what's it's really supposed to do in the end. We have been given nothing on this.
2. We have no idea how long the vendor estimates it will takes.
3. We may not even have software B after June 30th due to our procurement rules.

One of the things that really irritates me about my current organization is that we have no real acquaintance with process and planning. This is just one of many examples. The proper way to plan for a project is to first all understand the scope- what is the end goal, and what does it take to get there. Only once you have that information can you effectively create a realistic schedule. I can't tell you how long it will take to implement something when I know nothing about it.

Little things that remind us how blessed we are

Sometimes it is the little things that truly grab our attention. Yesterday I looked by my front door and realized I had not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but 5 pairs of shoes near the entry of my house. I was struck by how blessed I am to have some many options of shoes, and these are far from the only shoes I own. It was rather humbling.

When a simile is both amazing accurate and completely frightening- Final Update

A couple weeks ago we got the last update on the status of some of our employees transitioning to another organization. It was so full of bureaucrat-ese that I had check with some coworkers to make sure I understood the gist of it correctly. I did. These transition is off, period. The two organizations are going to continue to work together in other ways, blah, blah, blah, but no employees will change employers. It's a good thing we didn't track what this cost in terms of staff hours spent on a project that went nowhere. Our rate-paying public would have rightly been up in arms.

Dear Hiring Managers: Stop hating on millenials

I have had more than 1 hiring manager who's recently put down millennials as employees. This highly irritates me, and they need to knock it off. I am not a millennial, so I personally have no dog directly in this fight. However, here are least two reasons why it needs to cease.

1. It's stereotyping

What if I said all people who are (insert race, gender, or ethic label here) have some alleged bad quality? First, it's very unlikely that this would be true. Second, we perceive such an over-generalization as unfair, as well we should.

2. They are the workforce of the future

Whether you love that or hate it, you need to suck it up and find ways to adapt. Yes, you have to adapt. Every generation leaves its stamp on the workforce. You can either bemoan what impact you think the millennials will have, or you can embrace it and use their skills to further grow and develop your workplace. The choice is up to you.

I have started call out our staff when they say derogatory things about millennials. You are either the problem or the solution. In this instance, which are you?

When a simile is both amazing accurate and completely frightening- Update

Last week our Executive Director called a same day meeting for all departments transitioning to the other company 1/1/17. HR was also invited. None one knew (or at least would admit) what the meeting was about. At the meeting the Executive Director announced that the transition is on hold until further notice due to some legal issues that must be resolved. Yes, two weeks before it was to take place, and after countless hours of work throughout both organizations, issues that should have been long ago foreseen and addressed have come to light. There is no timeline on when, or if, the transition will ever take place. Customers of our company, this was not our best use of your funds.