Just Wait Until Your Manager Gets Home

The article below recently appeared in a local business journal. It is reprinted here in its entirety with permission from the author.

Improvising Business

by

Stevie Ray

October 11, 2013

Column 256

Just Wait Until Your Manager Gets Home

I remember watching the show Leave it To Beaver on a black and white TV set as a kid. I loved hearing the mother, June Cleaver, say the immortal phrase, “You just wait until your father comes home!” When my siblings or I got into trouble, we didn’t have to wait for dad to get home; we had an equal fear of both mother and father. Nowadays parents on talk shows lament the fact that their children are borderline criminals and “There is nothing I can do. I’ve tried everything.” The host asks, “Have you tried punishing the child?” The answer is usually, “I want to, but I just can’t.” Apparently, “trying everything” stops just short of trying anything.

I ran into an old acquaintance recently. He had his two young children with him, and throughout our entire conversation the children waited politely. I said to him, “Your kids are very well behaved.” He replied, “It’s not an option.” It’s not an option. I have started to use that phrase in my workshops. Just like bad parents have no idea why their unwillingness to enforce discipline has caused a disruptive child, bad managers have no idea why their employees act out. America has lost some healthy fear. My siblings and I were never afraid of our parents, but we have always been afraid of their disapproval. This taught us to us fear disappointing co-workers, clients, and colleagues. As adults, this fear keeps us focused on doing our best; not because of the reward of doing good or the reprisal of failure, but because proper behavior is simply not optional.

I was conducting a workshop recently in which the company leaders were rolling out new standards for conduct; how to treat co-workers and customers better, and how to do their best work every day. There was concern among the directors, managers, and supervisors about how the new standards would be received. They were worried that the staff wouldn’t like the new standards. They were anxious about what to do if the staff resisted implementing the practices. One of the managers asked me my opinion and I said, “Since when is it an option to follow the directives of the company? My parents didn’t say, ‘Do your homework, unless you don’t feel like doing it.’”

I certainly don’t advocate leading with a “Do it or you’re fired” approach. I do, however, believe in an atmosphere of expectations. A leader’s job is to provide vision; a future for the company that others might not see. In order to get to that future the leader has to lay out the path, and then hold people accountable for their behavior.

I don’t like the threat of firing someone, but it is fine to ask the question, “Given that you don’t want to do the things the company is asking you to do, why do you still want to stay here?” If the answer is “To keep getting a paycheck” or “I want to stay and do things the way I did when I first started here years ago” then there is a problem. How many times have you seen bad behavior and hoped that the universe would take care of that person for you?

Parents who request that their children behave get what they deserve, and they can’t blame TV, the school system, or society for the outcome. They have created an atmosphere in which the children are not afraid of the parent’s disapproval. So the kids will grow up not afraid of anyone else’s disapproval. The next time you turn a blind eye to inappropriate behavior, or make following your directions optional, get ready to appear on a TV talk show and say, “I don’t know what to do about my employee. I’ve tried everything (except be the one in charge).”

Stevie Ray is a nationally recognized corporate speaker and trainer, helping companies improve communication skills, customer service, leadership, and team management.  He can be reached at www.stevierays.org or stevie@stevierays.org.

This should be a required reading for managers and parents. I saw this so often when I worked in HR. Managers and supervisors wouldn't like what their employees were doing, but they failed to do anything meaningful about it. It was also a problem among the managers themselves as they had no real accountability, and as my coworker was fond of saying "the ship is adrift ." Each area did what it felt like without a cohesive focus of what was best for the organization.

I would hear managers whine about some of the things they were supposed to do. I often wanted to tell them "THAT is why we pay you all that money, not to sit around and look cute". Yes, being a manager can be more difficult than being a regular worker bee. But, it also pays much more. As the saying goes "to whom much is given, much will be required." If you don't want that responsibility, I understand. But you need to give up the pay that comes with it. You're either in or you out, and your actions show others which category applies to you.