The value of someone who's been where you are

A couple weeks ago I got an e-mail from a friend who's going through a rough time at work. After I read it, I told my coworker, "this is me 6 months ago". My friend is burned out and done. She's going through a lot of what I went through in terms of dealing with dysfunctional people in leadership, not being valued for all she brings to the table, etc. She is also experiencing the inordinate frustrations of job searching.

It was very interesting for me for two reasons. First, I realized how far removed I am from that. I was very unhappy at my job for a long time. People who left before me described how they got out of the crazy and looked back at how messed up it was. I completely understand.

Secondly, I was able to offer my friend not only sympathy but more importantly empathy. No two journeys of any kind (financial, occupational, relational, etc.) are exactly the same, but that being said, someone who's been there has insight that no one else can offer.

I told my friend how much of my 6-months-ago self I saw in her. I also reminded her that I made it through and that she will too. Life is full of situations we do not love that will not endure. It's good to be reminded of that by someone who's living proof.

The problem is looking at you in the mirror

Recently a customer came into our office to inquire about the services our agency provides. My coworker volunteered to talk with him, something I'm sure she regrets now! The conversation lasted around an hour (normally such an overview takes less than 5 minutes). Everything she suggested he said he would not learn anything from. He also stated that the jobs companies post on our website aren't real (trust me, employers are way too lazy to do that) and that firms were unlawfully discriminating him on the basis of age (he was over 40, but he didn't look it.). He was one of the most annoying human beings I've ever met. I ended up putting on my headset and listening to my Ipod to block him out.

After he left, my coworker pulled up the resume that he had previously uploaded. Oh my goodness. I see why employers won't hire you, and that's before they get the displeasure of meeting you in person. Here are the issues we immediately noticed. A member of our staff from another office visited our location later that day, and he called out the exact same things.

1. His picture was on his resume

Unless your field is acting or modeling, your picture has no place on your resume. Employers do not want this. It can give them clues to your age and ethnic background. They don't want to know that. They can't be accused of illegal discrimination if they don't have the information. Do not put this on your resume.

2. He listed an old, out of state address

It goes without saying that you want your current address on your resume. You also want a local address whenever possible. Employers are generally not crazy about relocation. This person was applying for more entry level positions, and relocation is almost never considered for those.

3. The resume had poor flow and organization

Some sections had too much data, other sections had data that belong on a cover letter instead. It was not impressive.

This guy said he wouldn't get anything out of our classes (which include one on resumes!), and sadly he was right. He already thinks he knows everything (and he obviously does not). He reminds me of another customer who said "At 50 no one can teach you anything about job searching". To which I wanted to reply "Then why are you unemployed?". Many times the source of our problems is looking at us in the mirror.

More Adventures in Baking

Yesterday I made a skillet chocolate chip cookie. The recipe intrigued me for a few reasons.

1. Chocolate chip cookie. Enough said.
2. It was a one dish item.
3. It used ingredients I had on hand
4. I could use my new skillets I got for my birthday.

Here's the final product:

This morning I made Pineapple, Ginger, & Walnut Oatmeal for breakfast. It also incorporated ingredients I liked and had on hand. Here's how that turned out:

It's been a bake-tastic weekend at my house.

You get what you'll tolerate

One of my observations in life is that you get what you'll tolerate in terms of how people treat you. My coworker was telling me about how one of her customers had been rude to her. She said "someone more assertive would probably have not had this issue." She's right. The customer is seeking services. My coworker ultimately decides if the customer will receive those. If the customer can't treat people with respect, she is not a candidate for services in my opinion period. As I told my coworker "I don't make enough at this job to put up with anything." If I notice a customer being rude to any of my coworkers and that person comes to me for assistance, he or she is first of all going to wait before being seen. I consider it a a time out. As I tell people, my employer says I have to help people with certain things. It doesn't say I have to do it quickly. If it's a non mandatory service, they won't get it at all.

People are normally fairly quick to pick up on what you'll tolerate. I rarely dealt with much crazy from my coworkers or vendors in my last job because it was readily apparent I would not put up with it. I treat others around me with respect and demand the same in return. If you don't like how others are treating you, it's time to examine what expectations for behavior you project.

Job interviews are like dating

Last week I had two different people tell me that the jobs they started had turned into something that wasn't a good fit for them. I completely understand. I've decided that job interviews are liking dating. On a first date everyone (hopefully) takes an extra effort to look nice, use their best manners, and generally try to hide their crazy. Fast forward a few months. You're lucky if the person is wearing clean sweats, has showered in the last few days, and speaks in complete sentences occasionally. It's a very similar process for interviews, both for the employer and potential employee.

Like dating, there's no magic way to tell if this is going to be a successful relationship. Things I would definitely advise include observing how the employees of your interviewing company act, inquiring why the position is open and what the turnover is for both the company and the department, and trying to use your network to find someone who works there who'll give an honest assessment of the place.

If you do the above and still find yourself with a job that isn't what you thought it would be, don't beat yourself up. Crazy is easy to hide in the short term. Update your resume and start looking for something else. You got a new job at this company, you can find another somewhere else.

P.S. My neighbor was telling me recently about how he "broke up" with his former boss (his exact words). I think that's another good analogy. Just as can happen in dating relationships, the other party didn't handle it all that well.